Random Thoughts

Kirameki no Kanata e

2009-01-05T19:40:00.007+08:00

things are rough right now, well more than rough actually.
so this thing shall be on hiatus.

maybe when things are back to normal, or close to being normal at least
i'll be back. if im still breathing then. hahaha.

have a nice life and happy belated new year people!
(:

ps: the days that seem to trip you up are not pointless at all.

Nantoka Naru Sa.

2008-12-26T21:25:00.006+08:00

"kakak happy? kalau kakak happy bibi happy."

words like those, they make you smile when it seems impossible to - even if it's just for a moment.

and it's precisely why i love her.
(:

ps: when we want to cry, let's try laughing.

Out on My Own.

2008-12-22T22:22:00.005+08:00

when you thought things couldn't get any worse,
well they did.

and like a town hit by a tornado,
you could only witness helplessly the destruction
unfolding before your very own eyes.

fear filled me up inside.
and i wanna scream out loud and cry.

ps: your smiles they don't come easy like they used to come before, the awkwardness and boredom is scattered out across the floor.

Stars.

2008-12-15T21:45:00.005+08:00

when holding on seems futile, isn't it time to let go?

maybe it's better losing than hurting.

cause at the end of the day

no matter how many times we fall,

picking ourselves up is much easier than mending a wounded heart.

ps: we notice how important things are when we are apart from them.

Be With You.

2008-12-11T20:48:00.004+08:00

Down and out.

gosh i can't believe the immune system's down again. it's been
who knows how many times already im falling prey to dear-mr-virus,
in a space of what .. 2 months? or around there somewhere.
damnn, do these parasites really love me or what?
bet there's a sign somewhere in my cells which probably read
something like, "attention viruses and friends, you are welcome to enter and infect my humble cells, as and when you feel like it. so come on! while stocks last. " =.=

no seriously. something's not right with me.

ps: i can't help feeling sad, so i called your name.

Dreams.

2008-12-04T02:25:00.004+08:00

lately words don't come easy
and even smiles seem so distant

lately nothing seems quite right,

ps: why do my tears spill over? during the times i can't say the words.

Your Face.

2008-11-29T00:14:00.013+08:00

i met faiezah dear on thurs to collect her shoes,

& we had ice-cream!

k, more like i was the one having ice-cream cause it was her treat.

ooooh, sweeet kan??

though i looked retarded sitting by the walkway with humans staring at me.

hahah, but thanks eh!

then friday was outing with myra as usual.

town was the destination yet again.

satisfied our cravings for pretzels, walked till our feel hurt like

@*$^(@^!*

settled down at bk to get our student's meals before finally
ending the night with an ice-cream cone & sitting outside taka

just chilling & talking random.

ohh, & i still had the audacity to eat my sis' LJS when i got home after that.

ok i love fooood.

yayness. :D

anw, have i mentioned?

school's a drag. i hate reports. i hate exams. & i hate everything about it.

ok done.

so here's to cheer myself up;

oooh, prettypretty i likee.

ok have a nice night!

Stand Still.

2008-11-25T00:07:00.005+08:00

sometimes i feel so small in this big place; its like im trapped in a maze.
and i'd wish for God to slow the pace; just so i could catch up in the race.

oh wow, i found traces of crimson red on my scalp.

ps: i don't care what's in front of me or what's behind me; i just wanna stop the wheel.

Somebody Out There.

2008-11-23T23:11:00.006+08:00

" the difference between school and life is that in school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test; but in life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson "

ps: cause its worth it when you smile.

Kizuna.

2008-11-13T20:35:00.009+08:00

yesterday was eventful much.

met up with myra, efj, natra, SYIMA (im sorry!) and najian to celebrate najian's birthdayy.

it was a belated celebration actually, but all the same.

everyone gathered up about 2 hours after the supposed time planned.

and basically we spent the rest of the evening at pizza hut;

laughing at waiters (nice, cute ones. HAHA), eating, sharing random jokes

which only people like us could understand & to put it simply,

we were just being ourselves. =D

fooling around like nobody's business, camwhoring (with the exception of yours truly),

and finding flaws in the littlest things possible just to amuse ourselves.

all in all, it was definitely an evening well spent with loved ones.

cause nobody makes me laugh like they do with their silly antics.

birthday girl received an espirit cap from natra, efj & me while

myra awarded her with a scrumptious raspberry chesesecake from coffee bean

(which was accidently crushed in my bag, sorry)

& syima apparently sewed a cute-looking pouch for her, all by herself.

awwwwww.

and that's it.

home sweet home right after cause we each have classes the next day..

and and anddd,

i was somehow so beat that i actually slept at 11 plus!

oooh, im so proud of myself please.

hahah.

but then woke up at 4am to watch spurs vs liverpool

and for the second time already this season,

we lost again. this time 4-2. & out of the carling cup.

what.the.heck.

seriously annoyingggg.

sooo

today's yet another mundane school day.

nothing much happened, you'd bore to death just listening to how i spent my hours there.

don't think i'd ever grow to like school -

not in this lifetime at least.

cause that's how much i LOVE that place.

ok bye.

ps: that time, that place, this bond won't disappear.

Getaway.

2008-11-08T19:11:00.006+08:00

im falling ill more frequently lately it doesn't look good.
just yesterday,
i encountered the worst experience of my short-lived life.

was standing in the mrt to go school when suddenly the most terrible,
agonizing headache hit me - as if my skull itself was being pulled out of my head.
so then i was having a hard time balancing and i reallyreallyreally wanted to throw up somehow.
but with God's will, i managed to hang on till i arrived at yio chu kang station.

it's then when things went from bad to worse.
i could hardly walk properly cause everything was a blur
and while trying to go down the stairs outside the station, i would've rolled down like a ragged doll if not for the railing which i barely managed to hang on to.
then it became obvious that i was in no condition to carry on.
made my way to the public restroom and sat on the ground to catch a breather.
by then i think i lost it - i was alone, & afraid.
my head's threatening to give way, i wanted to throw up and i could hardly breathe.

cancelled the thought of calling my mom cause i wasn't about to worry her unnecessarily.
so called up my friend instead, telliing her of my condition.
she was sweet enough to offer to pick me up from the station, but i refused since lecture's gonna start anyway.
spent a few more minutes there before gathering enough strength to continue my way to school.
& alhamdulillah, i arrived safe at sound at the lecture theatre.

but guess my presence was redundant after all,
for i could hardly digest anything in my brain and was only hurting the whole 1h 45 min there.
a kind soul soul gave me a piece of panadol which i took without any water, (was disgusting i swear, but the pain was unbearable)
and i practically spent the whole time trying to keep my consciousness.

went to meet bestfriend after lecture to grab a bite together & just bonded.
and yeahh, that's it.
swallowed a total of 5 tablets yesterday but it ain't getting better still.
and im worried cause i've not started on any of my reports
plus i have no idea how im gonna complete my tutorial on friday's lecture.

this is all damn frustrating in a way.
i've more than enough things on my mind to worry about
without having to deal with a weird sickness every now and then.

(btw,liverpool drew 1-1 with atletico last wed, nerve-wrecking match but fair result in the end i guess. and tonight's against west brom :D)

ps: sometimes i wish i could hide away, looking for a place to getaway.

Iris

2008-11-05T00:32:00.006+08:00

as i predicted, mclaren won the championship.

but victory sure doesn't come easy.

cause i was literally at the edge of my seat

during the last few laps of the race!

now, that should tell you something

about the tension level.

from massa driving a flawless race to win,

to thinking ferrari had clinched the title,

to timo glock suddenly running low on power towards the cheqered flag

& to hamilton getting past him to finally get the all-important 5th place to secure the championship

everything were inch-perfect - for the making of a dramatic soap opera

no, seriouslyy.

ending was definitely ...

unexpected.

wait no, more like unimaginable.

so anywayy, that's how it was then.

mclaren won, hamilton won,

and everyone's happy. no?

well, maybe not massa or the ferrari crew,

or the brazilian fans,

but at least i am.

now next upp,

LIVERPOOL vs ATLETICO MADRID coming up at 3.45am.

i shall sacrifice my sleep (as i've always done)

and await the match with much anticipation.

hoping of course, that fernando torres would start,

or at least play a part in this big match.

so yeahh,

about 3 more hours to go.

i'll go entertain myself till then.

ps: and you can't fight the tears that ain't coming, or the moment of truth in your lies.

Feel The Silence.

2008-11-02T23:45:00.007+08:00

ohhhh,
liverpool lost 1-2 to spurs after beating chelsea & portsmouth 1-0 each.
how tragic.
their unbeaten run had been broken.
so now im a broken-hearted kid.
:(

...................................................

ahaha.
what.the.heck.
totally irrelevant.

ill go watch F1 noww.
final showdown between mclaren and ferrari,
& especially lewis hamilton and felipe massa.
ooooohhhhhh

sense the excitement people!
i'll be supporting mclaren,
not cause im a die-hard hamilton fan (i'd rather support fernando alonso)
but just cause i don't fancy ferrari.
and well, im a mclaren fan.
=)

nite humans!

ps: when you're fighting the current, you forget how to live; and i wanted to reach you, but i don't know where to begin.

I Learned From You.

2008-10-26T13:29:00.004+08:00

i know you're going through some hard time right now
and you're feeling pain right now
not gonna lie and say i understand it all
but i'll be there by your side every step of the way
and He's always there to guide us through the day

so let's have faith,
and keep on praying.

ps: i learned that strength is something you choose.

Sick And Tired Of Being Sick And Tired.

2008-10-20T15:56:00.005+08:00

it came again.
that which throbbed so violently i could almost feel my brain wrestling against my skull,
as if attempting to free itself from the agony.

and if that wasn't enough,
i found myself throwing up weird-smelling liquid (yeahh eeewww)
in the middle of the night plus somehow,
for god-knows-what reason, it got hard to breathe.

horrifying much.

so inevitably,
missed today's biostats lecture, biochem prac, IT prac and organic chem tutorial.
& damnn, that's alot to catch up on.

but anw, liverpool made another awesome comeback to beat wigan 3-2.
so there's something to smile about.
(:

ps: i haven't heard your voice in so long.

Forever And A Day.

2008-10-16T22:01:00.008+08:00

so england end up winnig 3-1
with wayne rooney netting the other two goals.

however,

fernando torres limped off after playing just about 15 minutes
worth of football for spain.
and now, he could miss at least three matches for liverpool.
including the big match against atletico madrid & chelsea.
WHAT.THE.HECK??!

annoying shit.

but on a lighter note,
went to catch the house bunny with syima yersterday, seeing that both of us
don't have classes to attend.
it was, uhh. entertaining. yet i dont quite get some parts.
but not bad on the whole i suppose. at least the casts were gorgeous.
(:

and just a while ago i caught graffiti on suria,
to see my dear friend, syafiqah najian binte ramlan,
made her acting debut. hahah!
it was coool uh.
my mom, dad and sis were all sitting together watching.
see babe? that's how much my family and i are showing our support.
good job! (but seriously, if you were to do that to a guy in real life,
even i'd get pissed at you. i mean, come on. of so many rubbish bins around,
you just HAD to choose the one right in front of him to throw the cd? ouchh.)
;)

ps: when the night has come and the day is gone, im always thinking of you.

Colours Of The Wind.

2008-10-16T02:43:00.004+08:00

its 2.43am. im watching belarus vs england and gerrard just scored!
:D:D:D

ok bye.
class stars at 9am. how coool.

ps: if you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew.

Bigger Than Us.

2008-10-13T01:01:00.005+08:00

what the heck.

school should be made an option and education, a crime.

ps: everyone needs something to believe in.

Falls Back On.

2008-10-10T23:38:00.007+08:00

oooh.

i've been visiting relatives, raya-ing with the AI humans,

attending MINDS event today, anticipating the start of a new semester (yeahh right), and what-nots uh.

but i ain't feeling quite hyped up to write out about everything.

somehow i feel lethergic, restless and to put it simply, just lifeless.

so yeahh,

i ain't gonna go describing everything that's happened.

don't see the need to, or wait. maybe don't feel the need to.

whatever.

besides that, i found myself a new friend,

who's greatest flaw is his undying love for Arsenal.

HEH.

& guess what?

he's a friend of yani, classmate to be exact.

cool much huh.

how small can this world get??

and thats it.

you people have a nice life.

lives i mean, have nice lives.

ok bye.

ps: there's a fine line between right and wrong.

Still Beautiful.

2008-10-02T21:15:00.015+08:00

this may be a lil bit late, but SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI to all muslim friends in this universe!
moga semua didampingi restu dari yang maha Esa di bulan syawal yang mulia ini.
minal aidil walfaizin, ampun maaf dipinta dari hujung rambut hingga ke hujung kaki kepada sesiapa yang pernah disakiti, baik dengan sengaja mahupun tidak.
akhir sekali, harap tiada rasa dendam disimpan di dalam hati dan semoga kita mampu meraihkan raya ini dengan senyuman serta kemaafan.
amin ya rabbal alamin.
:D

and that's more or less yesterday's tale.

papa had to work, so we only went two houses,

nenek & atuk.

and tonight,

mama's working.

but,

thanks to nur faiezah & diaz novera

i got to eat mango cake

& proudly owns a red ball now,

a LIVERPOOL red ball.

ohhh, & speaking of liverpool,

they won PSV 3-1!

keane's first goal & gerrard's 100th plus another strike from kuyt;

makes up for a perfect birthday present for yours truly.

thank you much friends,

and everyone else who remembered and who were kind enough

to make the effort to wish me.

im deeply honoured.

ps: i have always believed God won't give me more than i can handle. but sometimes when it is so hard and im falling apart, i wonder if i can take this.

Talking Bird.

2008-09-28T03:54:00.006+08:00

and yeahh,

EVERTON 0 LIVERPOOL 2

thanks to him yet again.
=)

ps: the longer you think, the less you know what to do.

Smile.

2008-09-28T03:32:00.007+08:00

HAPPY BELATED 17th BIRTHDAY EVIA NATRA BINTE ANUWAR
(:

i'll see your face in about 12 hours time.

ps: although a tear may be ever so near, that's the time you must keep on trying.

The End Where I Begin.

2008-09-23T08:59:00.005+08:00

and through it all
i still wanna believe in happily ever after;

ps: what don't kill a heart, only makes it strong.

Ten Days.

2008-09-21T20:24:00.005+08:00

these last 10 days of Ramadhan are finally here.
& i dont even feel the 20 days gone by.
time sure passes by fast huh.

went jb yesterday to collect my outfit for this year
and yeahh, its not bad.
white and greeen.
(:

then started house cleaning last night
and still a long way to go before clearing up everything.
especially my room. (its filled with unnecessary rubbish, HAHA)

but anyway,
i found this while surfing the net earlier.
check it out;

The Last Ten Days Of Ramadan

The Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.) said, "If any Muslim comes out of Ramadan without gaining forgiveness and goodness, he is a real loser." (Ibn Hibban and At-Tabarani)

The last ten days of Ramadan are very special days in the life of every Muslim. According to Muslims, they are the most blessed days in the blessed month of Ramadan, the month the Holy Quran was revealed. Muslims believe that although the Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.) was promised Paradise, he used to exert himself even more in worship during these last ten days, hoping to draw closer to Allah. The Prophet's wife Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) said, "With the start of the last ten days of Ramadan, the Prophet used to tighten his waist belt and used to pray all the night, and used to keep his family awake for the prayers." (Bukhari)

For Muslims, the last ten days should be a time to perfect one's fast and avoid anything that may break it. It is a time to give more charity and to settle disputes and forgive one another. It is also a time for soul searching, evaluating one's life, supplicating, and asking forgiveness. This should be done sincerely because if Allah accepts the supplications, the reward is the remission of one's sins.

The best time to do it is in the last part of the night. Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet (p.b.u.h.) said, "When the last one third of the night remains, our Lord, the Glorious One, descends towards the lower heaven and proclaims: 'Is there anyone supplicating to Me so that I grant his supplication? Is there anyone begging of Me for anything so that I grant him his wish? Is there anyone who seeks My forgiveness so I forgive him?'" (Bukhari and Muslim)

During the last third of Ramadan, one should recite more Quran and remember Allah more often, even constantly.

The last ten days are also known for Itekaf (spiritual retreat). The Prophet (p.b.u.h.) used to perform Itekaf in the mosque during the last ten days of Ramadan, barely sleeping during that time. Itekaf requires a total devotion to Allah; it is a sort of vacation with Him. The time is spent worshiping, performing extra Salah (ritual prayers), reciting Quran, making Thikr (remembrance of Allah) and duaas (supplications). One should leave behind the cares of this world, and even eat and sleep in the mosque. Those who cannot perform Itekaf for ten days, should try to do it for a shorter time, if only for one night or a day or two.

Laylat Al-Qadr also occurs during the last ten days of Ramadan. The Prophet (p.b.u.h.) said, "Any Muslim who stands in Prayer during Laylat Al-Qadr out of faith and sincerity, his previous sins will be forgiven."

By: Magda Azzam
Source: www.Islamonline.net

honestly,
i don't wanna be a real loser by coming out of this month
with neither forgiveness nor goodness.

and im pretty sure you don't either.
so we both know what to do then.
;)

ps: some things have changed but im still the same.

Im Your Angel.

2008-09-20T03:56:00.007+08:00

i wanna make you smile

wash away your tears

eliminate your fears

ease your pain

share your burden

rest your doubts

drown your worries

& like the sunrise,

i wanna lighten up your world.

but most of all,

i just wanna be there for you

like you've always been for me.

ps: no rivers too wide for you to make it across, all you have to do is believe it when you pray.

I Miss You.

2008-09-18T00:14:00.003+08:00

MARSEILLE 1 LIVERPOOL 2

and he did it again!

scoring a brace, in which the first being an absolute beauty from 25 yards.

oooh,

fantabulous pleasee.

ps: and i still shed a tear, every once in a while.

Collide.

2008-09-16T23:19:00.003+08:00

so i've gotten my results.
to say it's disappointing would not be entirely true,
considering how i've improved from two Fs in common test to not even a D. (alhamdulilllah)
but yeahh,
it's not something to be proud of, if anything.
im still miles away from achieving that desired goal in mind,
but i'll work hard. no worries.

"you don't drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there."
-Cole, Edwin Louise

results aside,
champs league is starting at 2.30am!

MARSEILLE vs LIVERPOOL

ooyeahhh.
nothing makes me happier than a good game of football.
=)

ps: even the best fall down sometimes, even the stars refuse to shine.

You'll Never Walk Alone.

2008-09-15T01:56:00.006+08:00

LIVERPOOL 2 MANCHESTER UNITED 1

ooyeahh!
sense my joy fellow humans.
imma happy goober.
:DD

though wes brown didn't really have to help put the ball
in the back of the net; man u's own net,
when they were leading courtesy of carlos tevez in the third minute,
but thank you still.
cause it made life a lot easierr.
plus adding in ryan babel's gorgeous strike in the second half,
and you have a winner.
=)

now all that without
fernando torres,
and only 20 min with steven gerrard.
heyy, even the most ardent united supporter gotta admit that's something.
especially against the red devils.

accept it.
man u were totally outclassed,
outsmarted,
& definitely outwitted.
(:

ps: at the end of the storm is a golden sky and the sweet silver song of a lark.

One In A Million.

2008-09-12T22:12:00.008+08:00

Merindu Kepastian - Art Fazil

andai esok aku menjadi tanah
sudikah engkau menjadi bunga
menghiasi dadaku

i love that phrase,
malay literature at its best. (:
or maybe it's just me. idk.
but i kinda miss the whole twice-a-week-bahasa-melayu-lanjutan-classes
which truthfully, i've never quite appreciated OR attended.

call me weird please.

ps: they say that good things take time, but really great things happen in a blink of an eye.

Anything But Ordinary.

2008-09-08T00:31:00.005+08:00

i think im turning into a vampire.
yeahh, right.

anyway,
i've been sleeping when the sun rises
& boosting with energy when the sun sets.
now tell me, is that weird or is that weird??

i've never known anyone with this syndrome,
if you can even call it that.
and the only time im alive during the day
would be to perform my prayers and perhaps, if im lucky,
read a few chapters of "Real Vampires Live Large" by Gerry Bartlett
before drifting off to lala land yet again.

oooh, that book's awesome i tell you.
its about vampires.
hmm, coincidence much?
beats me.

but it sure is getting real uncanny.

ps: sometimes i get so weird, i even freak myself out; i laugh myself to sleep.

Last Summer.

2008-09-04T23:05:00.006+08:00

hola!
i shall dedicate this post to my erm, intresting friend,
nur ilyani binte sidek. (;

since i've promised to do it,
here goes nothing.

so let's see,

she's 17 years of age
birthday falls on the 20th August 1991
a Leo
really weird sense of humour
laughs alottt
the only friend i know who actually likes chrysanthemum tea (:
loves peach tea
afraid of the dark
adores patrick
calls herself starfish

she's an affectionate kinda person
loves hugs
kisses
& things like that
can be sensitive and fragile
but tends to put up a strong front
when around humans (=

can be quite straightforward
so those who don't know her might get the wrong idea
yet if you do know her
you'd know better than to take offence
cause she probably doesn't mean 90% of the mean things she says. :)

intimidates me sometimes
when she's angry
but other than that
a nice human being
to be around with
when you need entertainment
or just someone to laugh with

last but not least,
she has a thing for curly-haired dudes
which i could never understand
hahaha
but she's not available eh people.
;)

& not to mention,
the first person i befriended
way back in sec 1
=))

so there!
the all-about-yani post.

nites.

ps: it's so good like this, these are the times we'll miss.

One Step At A Time.

2008-09-03T04:20:00.005+08:00

what if one plus one isn't two?
night turns to day & day turns to night?
ice burns & fire freezes?

ohhhh.
i wonder.

ps: it's the faith that makes you stronger.

Better Version.

2008-09-01T00:54:00.011+08:00

oooh.
liverpool drew 0-0 with aston villa!
&&&
gerrard and torres is out with injuries!

aww mann.
=((

but on a happier note,
it's officially RAMADHAN!
alhamdulillah!
:D

so here's a special wish
to all Muslim people of the universe;

SELAMAT BERPUASE!
may Allah forgive all our wrongdoings and
grant our prayers in this blessed month,
insyaAllah.

"ku mengharapkan ramadhan
kali ini penuh makna,
agar dapat ku lalui
dengan sempurna."

ps: i am not perfect and i don't claim to be.

I Still Believe.

2008-08-31T05:28:00.009+08:00

im a deprived child as of current,
and in need of a good book to keep my mojo going.

i reallyreallyreally wanna read twilight!
then new moon.
then eclipse.
then breaking dawn.
plus a whole lonnnggg list of other books.
:(

damn i miss that feeling,
of losing myself in the company of a worthy book,
with adrenaline rushing through every veins,
& heart beating anxiously with anticipation
at every pause in the story.

aww mann.

k moving on,
i don't know what im doing here
at 5.30am.
when i've not had so much as a wink of sleep
since god knows when.

oh well.
here's to make me smile,

ok now im happy.

:D

ps: and after all this time, you'd think that i wouldn't feel the same. but time melts into nothing, and nothing has changed.

Seen The Light.

2008-08-29T01:33:00.005+08:00

"Tatkala cinta berbisik
suaranya memuji Tuhan
Pabila rindu terusik
rasulnya jadi pilihan"

ps: i coulda been in the dark, but thank God for the light.

Welcome To My Heart.

2008-08-27T21:07:00.005+08:00

i've seen, heard & understood enough.
perhaps even more than i could comprehend.
it's all so unclear right now.
everything.

a whirl of emotions fill me up inside,
preventing my sane self from differentiating
one from another.
i wanna cry, then i wanna laugh.
yet i also wanna scream out loud
& retaliate this fate like a helpless child.

ya Allah,
i wonder;
will everything turn out fine??

ps: im a little scared, knowing you're out there, so far away from me.

Beautiful Girls.

2008-08-20T03:04:00.008+08:00

3.03am
wooh cool stuff!

nice numbers ehh?

3.03. i likkeeee.

and here's some shots from past events;

cakes from faiezah,

& outing with THE UNUSUAL SUSPECTS. =P

oooh, the last shot,

doesn't look quite right.

hahahaha.

;)

before i forget,

HAPPY 17th TO NUR ILYANI BINTE SIDEK!!!

hope you have a nice life ahead and enjoy your youth!

getting old babe! HAHAHAHAHA.

but yeahh, i love you, my "first-new-friend-in-secondary-school."

=)))

ps: i'll have you suicidal, when i say its over.

Gotta Find You.

2008-08-18T20:51:00.008+08:00

heyyy.

been MIA for quite some time now.
schedule's been somewhat hectic,
exams are still commencing.
so yeahh,
get my drift.

i'll just do a brief sumary
of what's happened.

last wednesday,
faiezah came to visit.
was sick,
and she bought 2 pieces of cakes for me.
how sweeet.
thank u.
=)

thursday,
study session with myra.
at civics.

friday,
stayed home.
studied.
and studied.

saturday,
yani's advanced birthday celebration;
UNDERWATER WORLD & RENTAK SINGAPURA.
both were fantabulous!
(was in time to catch liverpool vs sunderland, & torres scored!)
:D

yesterday,
stayed home.
studied.
& studied.
[moto gp-ed and soccer-ed at night]
[rossi won & man u drew, awesomeness!]

today,
maths paper.
i've a sneaky feeling
its a goner.
then break fast with faiezah
at BK.
& im giving myself a break from studying tonight.
(=

and yeahh,
that's it.
pictures have not been uploaded.
so make do with this;
:)

oooyeahh, im a FAN-ATIC alrighty.

till then,
have a nice nite people of the universe.
(:

ps: you're the voice i hear inside my head.

Baby It's You.

2008-08-12T01:27:00.007+08:00

1.27am.

that's what the time reads now.
and damn my head's throbbing.

try drowning yourself in
some 130+ pages of pchem notes.
on an empty stomach,
a continuously 'running' nose,
& a semi-functioning brain.
for the whole dayyy.
then if you live to tell your tale,
i'd love to hear all about it.
=)

ohhhh,
& global warming is frightening.
don't you think??

ok yeahh.
i wanna eat.
vegetables.

peace.

ps: simple things is all my heart beats for.

Falling Down.

2008-08-10T22:33:00.007+08:00

oooh.

im back from my short trip to the capital of Malaysia.
safe, sound
and thankfully, sane.
(:

am too lethargic to type out details.
but lets just say,
i've teared, smiled, laughed,
screamed, & ate alottt
the past few days.

ooyeahhh.

i loooveee donuts,
do you love donuts??
(;

till then, nitey nite earthlings!

ps: to be lost before you are found, don't mean you are losing.

Suppose.

2008-08-06T19:15:00.004+08:00

today,
im a happy kid.

met up faiezah at cwp along with her friend,
Ansar.
all cause i needed company to eat
spaghetti. =)
& i got along pretty well with
Ansar.
really well, in fact.
i think we have the same frequency.
that's why.
hahahaha.

i lost count the number of times i laughed todayy.
ahaha.
AWESOME-NESS uh.

considering it's our first meeting,
it certainly didn't show when we started
conversing.
hahah!
seriouslyy, the stuff we talked about are just
superr random
& well, weird.
;)

so yeahh, today im one joyful person.
=)

the fact that i didn't deliver my presentation well just now,
& i walked for five hours on my ridiculously high heels till my toes are swollen,
& tmr's IMB exam,
& i've not started revising,
& i'll probably screw up tmr's paper
ain't gonna drown my happiness anytime soon.

yeahh it's kinda scary to be honest.
i've forgotten how it feels to be real happy,
till recently.
in spite of all the stress,
workloads,
& situations im dealt with.
somehow, i emerged a much stronger person
instead of drowning into the pit of nothing-ness.
oh wells.
i don't think you're able to decipher anything from the above.
so i'll save you the agony of trying to.

i think im beginning to fall in love all over again,
with myself.
:)

ps: but i'd rather be here with you.

Home.

2008-08-04T18:24:00.006+08:00

boohoO!

fc paper just now was.
uhhh.
ok laa, not bad.
cause ...
i had help,
wahahahaha!
thank you.
(:

but the essay writing part
i did myself.
& yeahh,
2+ pages on TURKISH CULTURE.
wooh besst!
hahahaha.
assuming its not rubbish,
then perhaps i could score that section.
ooyeahh, go me go!
=)

next up is CS & IMB.
=.=
aww mann.
but its okayy,
i can do it.
yesssss i cannnn.

and oh oh ohhhh!
i loveee myself,
i do.
i do.
i do.

do you love me?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

& someone's eyecandy is freaking gorgeous!
i likeeee.
;)

ps: you are the end and beginning of each and every day.

Love Story.

2008-08-02T22:54:00.006+08:00

dear syafz,
here's your overdued reply:

1) cause you started befriending me, if not, i'll probably just naturally be you friend? since we have similar personalities. ((:
2) SNAIL.
3) i like your soon-to-be sibling. HAHAHAHA.
4) the one where you stayed over my house to watch the world cup final, but in the end we both ended up sleeping and missing the match!
5) why u always sad see my face? WHY AHHH?
6) the one your're using now, cause i took that shot. wooh, nice ehhh? ;)

ok done,
i have so much more to post actually.
but yeahh,
watching liverpool now,
so cannot.
(:

oh oh ohhh,
& torres scored!
hahahaha yay!

but he's substituted for second half.
aww mann.
now im really anticipating
the new season.
with the torres-keane partnership.
and gerrard-torrres.
woooh.
deprived ok!

iwannabeexcitedandthrilledandjumponmysofawhilesoakinginthewondersofsocceralloveragain.
=)

ps: i never saw it coming till i fell so hard.

Runaway.

2008-07-30T20:05:00.004+08:00

BLODDYHELL.

im officially so effing pissed
& f***ed up
i could murder you
just for speaking to me.

oh damnnn.

ps: i wanna know the answers, instead of wondering why.

Tailor Made.

2008-07-28T19:00:00.005+08:00

ok peeps!
sorry for the wait.
busyyyy dok.

here's your reply;

EFJ:

1) hmm, we like became friends in sec 3 kan? haha. cause you're my new classmate! and yeahh, you look like a nice person. =)
2) JAPANESE DUDES!
3) that you're niceee. seriously, too nice at times! lol.
4) the one where you just listen to me crying on the phone, without saying anything?? aww man, i think that's sweeet. (:
5) uhh, why u like to use so many emoticons on msn uhh? hahah!
6) the one you're using now? with diaz.

Syima:

1) cause you were my higher malay mate! and classmate. =))
2) SYIMMERING LIGHT.
3) your smile! it always brighten up my day somehoww. really. :)
4) chalet! hahaah, i likeeee everything about it! from the eating together to the sleeping together to the swimming together to the walking together at night to seach for poker cards! lol.
5) how come you're so wise uh? can teach me?
6) you NEVER put dp, how to choose?!

Myra:

1) ermm. cause that time i was lost. then u told me that we were supposed to meet Mdm Ng for higher malay thingy. wahaah, then i think we became friends!
2) SPONGEBOB.
3) the fact that you're my les partner?? and you love me? HAHAH.
4) wahh alot! hahaha, but i pick the one where we sat by the river eating mcspicy packed from nyp! cooool or whaaat??
5) THEN HOW AHHH?
6) can't choose. you take nice pictures! (;

Yani:

1) you're the first person to say hi to me, and tell me your name is ilyani! :D
2) PATRICK.
3) i like your hair. (:
4) the one at taman negara, where u got stung then came running to me, while crying loudlyy. hahaha.
5) why you like to laugh at me ahh??
6) another person without dp.

Evia:

1) you were friends with myra and syafz first. then we bacame friends cause we always see each other and sat on the same bench during malay lessons. =)
2) ARSENAL.
3) you're coool beyond words. ;)
4) our first date watching liverpool vs middlesbrough at junction 8!!! we have to do that againnn. this season okie doks?
5) how do you become coool? i wanna learn ahh.
6) ermm. the one you took with your chinese friends i think. yeahh, you look super happy in that picture. i likeee. (:

ooyeahhh.
done!

have a nice night people.

ps: all of these mixed emotions, tangled up in pure confusion.

What Happened To Us?

2008-07-25T21:05:00.005+08:00

ooyeahhh.
i got this from syafz LJ,
and its really cooool.
seems like she still loves me.
cause yeahh, she remembered stuffs!
hahahaha.

so yeahh,
try this shall we;

Comment with a :), and I'll:

1. Tell you why I befriended you.
2. Associate you with something - random, a song, a colour, a photo, etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
6. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.
7. In return, you must post this in your LJ. (or anywhere you want)

okay done.
=)

ps: but you kept inside and i just denied.

2008-07-24T23:36:00.004+08:00

"You may be deceived if you trust too much,
but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough."

-Frank Crane

aww man.
then howw??

ps: i've always been the kind of girl.

Magnificent.

2008-07-23T23:50:00.007+08:00

Friday:

Saturday:

Sundayy:

ps: you ain't gonna be the one to tell me how much im worth.

Everything To Me.

2008-07-22T20:10:00.004+08:00

it's really annoying that
my joy seems to be
short-lived these days.

like damnn.
i really don't know.

yesterday i did research
on what could hace caused
the scalp to bleed.
then i found a word,
cancer.

last night a friend of mine told me
that his close friend just passed away.
i asked him why.
and again, that word appeared.
cancer.

then today during lecture,
i learnt about radiation thingy,
including what it could lead to.
and for the third time,
the word popped up.
cancer.

im seeing/hearing too many
"cancers" out of a sudden.
that im beginning to loathe that word.

i really don't like the sound of it.
and i have a test tomorrow.
oh shit.

ok bye.

ps: i bet it makes you laugh, watching me work so hard to reach you.

Now I Know.

2008-07-22T14:06:00.010+08:00

no microA prac yesteday,
so had extra 2 hours break.
cool uh.

then harrith called.
asked me to to be the tour guide for him, syafiq and adib.
god knows why they came nyp in the first place.
hahaha.
they're random people.

so yeahh, waited fo them to arrive.
then tried to show them aroud,
and the first thing they asked was,
"where do the pretty girls usually hang out?"
hah!
guyss.

so i brought them to the business school la.
cause honestly, i dont think there's anything
intrestingg enough worth showing.

then went to north canteen,
accompanied adib ate,
mee siam with three pieces of nuggets.
and yeahh, talked with them.
nice seeing their faces after quite some time
(:

and as usual,
harrith being harrith,
he spoke about stuff
that makes absolutely no sense,

i refused to understand.
& i think he's turning gayy
-.-
at least syafiq and adib
were more normal.
hahahah.

then they all walked me to class.
and yeahh, that's it.
i said bye.
harrith and adib going their rugby thingy,
and syafiq, i don't know.

then i realised that i actually missed them.
awwww.
should really meet each other
more often.
(:

went to catch dark knigk with a friend
after school.
and omgggg.
its COOOOL,
BREATH TAKINGG!
im out of words to describe uh.
definitely a MUST WATCH!
you won't be disappointed.
=))

ohhh.
i like bruce wayneee,
the joker kinda freaked me out.
;)

ps: time will teach you all you need to learn, but there'll always be a first time you get burnt.

Why Should I Cry?

2008-07-20T20:28:00.004+08:00

'Outlook worse' for scalp cancer

"Cancers on the neck or scalp
can be harder to spot
until they have grown.
Skin cancers on the scalp or neck
are more deadly than
those elsewhere on the body,
a large study has suggested.
An analysis of 50,000 cases of melanoma
found people with these cancers
were nearly twice as likely to die
as those with the disease on
arms or legs.
Scalp and neck cancers were
often found later
but there seemed to be something
inherently virulent about them,
the Archives of Dermatology study found.
Survival rates from skin cancer
are nonetheless relatively high.
The five-year survival rate for patients
with scalp or neck cancer was 83%,
compared with 92% for those with melanomas
on the face and ears and on the extremities -
the arms, legs, hands and feet."

ooyeahh.
the above is an extract
from an article i found
while doing research
on bleeding scalp.
never knew there's a term
as scalp cancer before.
but turns out there is.
hmmmm.
interestingg.
...................................

hahahaha.
ok that was totally random.
and an awkward moment.
just thought of sharing the news
with other people.
that's it.

hahaha.
ok bye.
:D

ps: why does my heart say, get up and walk away?

Why Don't You Cry About It?

2008-07-20T17:04:00.006+08:00

a lot of things happened these few days.
but im too tired to list them all down.
not been getting enough sleep is definitely
one reason.

anw, pictures shall be uploaded soon i think.
there seemed to be some problem,
i don't know what.
so yeahh,
syafiqah najian binte ramlan,
you wait okayyy!
not my faultt.
hahah.
:)

ohhh,
& evia natra binte anuwar seems to be the only human
i've not seen for ages!
how sadd.
=(

and i still owe nur ilyani binte sidek a post,
the all-about-yani post.
aww mann.

i'll try to find time okay babe.
one dayy.
=)

ouhhh, i went to have my measurements taken at jb this morningg.
for my raya oufit.
hahahaha.
it was.
interestingg?
lol.
anw, im going greeeeen this year!
ooyeahhh.
greeeeen &&& whiteeeeee.
:DD

hee, now im excited.
i want raya now, pleasee.

ps: im so tired, i need sleep.

Four Walls.

2008-07-17T21:06:00.005+08:00

i was rubbing my head just now.
attempting to chase away the pain.
but then something happened.
and i don't know whether to laugh or cry.

cause when i looked at my hand after that,
i saw blood on my fingers.
so i was like,
ooo .. what's this??
curious la.
then go touch my head again.

stood in front of the mirror to see.
and yeahh,
saw patches of red stuff on the scalp,
how interestingg kan?
hahaha.

turned out my scalp was bleeding.
now, if only it was the first time,
i would've panic like nobody's business.
seeing blood on my head.
but it's happened before,
so i just carefully try to dap the blood away with tissues and water.

then ok uh,
life goes on.

but i feel dead.
haha.
& syimmy's gonna nag again if i don't take panadol.
sheesh.

(:

ps: now i wait, for a break in the silence.

Don't Take My Heart and Put It on A Shelf.

2008-07-16T22:44:00.006+08:00

oh shit shit shit.
oh freakk.
oh nooo
my head hurts like @^*&()&%#!

painnnnn laa
wth.
dah 3 days didn't attend class.
i've to go sch tmr.
damnnn.
was okayy just now i swear.

now this.
feels like my head's splitting in two.
oh greatt.
what if im suffering from some kind of disease im not aware of??
oh mann,
then howw.

i don't wanna die yet.
please Allah.
pleaseee.

ohhh &
irritating faggots ain't helping.
BUZZ OFF.

ps: my heart is hanging on the line.

Just Fine.

2008-07-15T22:09:00.007+08:00

so another day without school.
coool.
but suckyy.
cause i get to skip lessons,
yet bore myself to death at home.
see the irony?

k nvm.

i realised that alot of people care about me.
no really,
don't laugh.

i've got family, friends, relatives & other people who are actually concern about me.
who takes time to ask how i am.
how's my day.
and who calls just to check if im still breathing.
and yeahh, these people are the ones who make life so much more
colourful, wonderful & beautiful.
(:

so im slow,
blur,
naive,
gullible,
silly,
& innocent-to-the-point-of-irritating at times.

but that's no reason for anyone to mistreat me,
or misuse me,
or whatever you people call it.
cause i have feeelings too,
emotions,
and stuff like that.
get it??

ok that's all.
i love everyone who cares about me.
(=

and to those who don't,
take a hike;
or get yourself a life.
cause i couldn't be bothered.
okie doks??

nite nite humans of the world.

ps: and im'ma still wear a smile if its raining.

Memories Fade.

2008-07-14T14:20:00.005+08:00

i can't quite comprehend what's happening to me these days.
no seriouslyy,
its freakyyy that im frightening my own self.
-.-

thus i came up with a conclusion;
that either im about to lose my mind,
or i've always been like this,
without realising it.

so yeahh, neither options are exactly positive to say the least.
but if i've to choose, it will probably be the latter.
cause the thought of losing my mind,
the only piece of me which holds so much memories,
crazy thoughts,
& random moments,
and which is simply the reason that i am who i am today.

the thought of losing all those is enough to send shivers down my spine.
i'd rather be deprived of mangoes for 33 years then suffer that awful fate.
really.

so anw, i shall not elaborate much.
but i'd like to thank dearest faiezah for just being there yesternight.
hearing me broke down like an idiot,
in the middle of the night,
when she could be spending time doing much more useful things.
and those words of motivation,
i appreciate them loads babe.
thank you so very much.
((:

& syafiqah,
it was nice catching up with you yesterday.
though not for long,
i enjoy every minute of it.
and ouhhh,
we're similar in so many ways aye??
;)

btw, i did not attend school today.
my eyes hurt from producing a fountain last night,
and i simply don't feel well.
so yeahh, im here blogging to pass time.
and ease the soul a bit.

i think that's it then.
hope everyone is alright.
and have a nice day!

ps: im speechless in a most peculiar way.

Not For Me.

2008-07-12T17:03:00.005+08:00

i climb the walls
i can see the edge
but i can't take the fall

i've memorized the number
so why can't i make the call?

ps: i don't want to be on your screenplay, just tell me did you rehearse on me?

Maybe.

2008-07-11T23:12:00.009+08:00

today is friday.
and it was a nice day.
i really like friday.
cause its the last day of the week.

hahahah!
i sound like a 7 year old kid kan.
lol.

anw, today was as usual, my friday escapade with the les partnerr.
ooyeahh.

had our dinner at Lot1.
cause i just felt like eating at the food culture there.
ahah.
but when we reached, i couldn't decide what to eat!
so myra ended up buying first; crispy carrot cake.
while i took another 7329553859 minutes before finally settling for the tom yam noodle.
=)

after that was our 'bonding' session.
talked, talked, talked & talked,
followed by heaps of uncontrollable laughters,
a generous amount of unnecessary noise,
& of course,
completed with a few stares here and there from the public eyes.

ohhhhh, and we took the wrong train back!
hahaha.
my fault laaa, cause i step confident as if i know where to go.
then ended up at jurong east!
WAHAHAHA.

and we had to bounce back la.
sorry babe.
(:

but i had a pleasant day on the whole.
i simply love fridayyys uh.
=))

ps: maybe im wrong, it's all in my head.

Flat On The Floor.

2008-07-08T13:52:00.009+08:00

okayy,
i failed physical chemm.
like wth??
im not surprised or anything uh,
but still doesn't make it any more more bearable in any wayy
get my drifttt?

oh shit la.
im a dumbass.
no, make that a slothhh.
or maybe both.

whatever, i wanna go home.
i wanna sleep.
and i don't wanna wake up.
can??

or maybe i'll go eatttt.
yeahh i think its a nice idea.
eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat.
then sleep.
ooyeahh.

ok damnn.
im not making sense.
shut up.

ps: you can't knock me off my feet, when im already on my knees.

Tangled Up.

2008-07-07T01:19:00.004+08:00

its 1.19am & i've got school tmr.
yet here i am, indulging in my b&j's chocolate fudge brownie
& getting myself HIGH.
ooyeahh.

all thanks to fitri,
for answering my cravings!
HAHAHA.
thank you friend of mine,
you're a nice person.
(:

and yeahh, i had nasi ayam penyet at changi village as well
how excitingg.
:))

well i think i should get going.
cause i wanna eat nasi lemak now!
hahahaha.
mama bought from jb kay,
so must eat.
lol.

and i realised i ate alott todayy.
heh.
what the heck la
im a growingg kid.
=)

bye humans of the world!

ps: im helpless just like a child, and im trying not to cross the line.

Take A Bow.

2008-07-05T21:31:00.005+08:00

had a nice bonding time with faiezah today.
though just for a short time, was definitely better than nothingg.
so more outings together in the future, alright babe??
(:

so anw, i got home feeling damnn hungryy.
due to starving myself the whole dayy.
ahah.
but im okayy now.
eaten & FULL.

but yeahh, idk why.
im feeling rather ...
how do i put this.
despondent??
ahaha. is that even a feeling?

wth.
i feel like isolating myself on a tropical island.
away from everyone
and befriend just the sea, sand, trees, sun, moon, & stars.
and maybe the creatures there.
ooyeahh, that'll be superr coool kan.
watcha think???
=_=

oh damnn la.
i wanna be a bird and fly awayyyy
now.

ps: you played the part and like a star you played it so well.

I Can Be.

2008-07-04T23:31:00.005+08:00

woopeedee yippedee dooo!!
come on people, buckle your shoe!!

hahaha.
man, todayy rawks my socks! not that i was wearing any, but yeahh.
BOOMBAMMDAPEEDEEDOO
=))

met up with the gfs after school.
myra; evia; syafzie & yani.
cancelled our initial plan to catch 21.
and settled ourselves at np's macs instead.
where we sat for a whooping 3 hours!
talked, crapped, reminisced the past
laughed at ourselves, at ME,
and anything/anyone worth laughing at.

& damnn, i realised how much i missed those times!
if only time could travel back,
that'll be superrr coool eh??
heh.

anw, bottom line is i love my day todayyy.
and i love my lovely wonderful amazing hilarious gfs!
thank you for making me smile and laugh and smile and laugh throughout.
my stomach hurts real bad now.
lol.
but at least its for a good reason.
:))

and yeahh, syimmy and faiezah have to be present next time!
then it'll be complete.
okie doks?

till then, have a nice nite everyone!
;D

ps: now i feel that this heart of mine has taken many falls.

Worth The Wait.

2008-07-02T21:37:00.009+08:00

one, two, buckle my shoe
three, four, shut the door!

hahaha. helloo humans of the world. =)

i didn't attend school the whole day todayyy. and just as well, cause first lesson was postponed to tmr & second period was cancelled. HAH. good timing or whatt to skip school?? im sooo cool kan. yay!

actually supposed to go for a workshop thingy at 3. but since i didn't attend my classes, what in the world could possibly make me drag my pathetic self to school?? right right right?? so yeahh, i gave it a miss! =p

and went to catch movie instead; HANCOCK!
hahaha. caught it with hidir after his class ended.
well, more like he decided to end the class himself uh.
cause he skipped GEMS! whatever that is.

& yeahh, movie was great.
WILL SMITH was the bomb!
ahahaha.
it was fascinatingg.
excitingg.
interestingg.
and what-nots.

i'll strongly recommend you wonderful people to watch this.
:D

& i miss frensss!! go out sooon kay?? tag/sms/call/visit me lah when u ppl free!!
hahah.
faster faster. im waitingggg. (:

have a nice nite people!!

ps: if i fall, if i break, if i lose myself in someone.

The Scientist.

2008-07-01T14:23:00.005+08:00

WOOPEEDEE YIPPEDOO!!
(learnt from evia natra oooyeahh)

&&& SPAIN WONNNNN! see people?
told u all kan??
who scored?
who who who?

my bf jgk!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA
coool eh?!!
;)

lol. kay enough about spain.
im in school now. in the library!
HAHAHA.
weekly routine, every tues must go here. confirm.
why??
cause there's 3 hours break!!!
hahaha. and the best thing about my class is,
you can find almost every one of us here!
like coool eh? the class spirit.
where everyone loves everyone!

awww ...
cheesy shit uh rashilah.

=D

& i ate rice with sayur kangkong just now! oooyeahh i likeeeee.

k bye.
this is a random post.

ps: nobody said it was easy.

Obsession (No Es Amor)

2008-06-29T22:40:00.008+08:00

oooyeahh.

SPAIN vs GERMANY!!!

must watch okayyy people.

my bf in action! WAHAHAHAHAHA.

but seriouslyy, you're either a erm .. caterpillar or a frog if you miss this. yeahh. whatever that means. cause its a match of a lifetime yaww!

& its okayy, we'll cope without villa; somehow. there's always TORRES. fabregas. silva. iniesta. xavi. ramos. and of course; that gorgeous goalkeeper, casillas!

:))

GO SPAIN GOOOOO!!!

ps: but it's driving me so crazy, i don't know if its right.

The Best You Never Had.

2008-06-28T15:01:00.005+08:00

mama: kak! gi letak sayur dlm washing machine!

me: huh?!?!

mama: sayur, gi letak sayur cpt!

me: (after thinking a few seconds) ouh. okayyy. *proceeds to walking towards the fridge* ma, nak sayur aper?

mama: yg kau pilih sayur buat aper? mama suro buat ape?!

me: yelah, beh mama baru suro letak sayur.

mama: huh? kau nak cuci sayur dlm washing machine??

me: huh? tadi baru suro org letak sayur. beh marah asl?

mama: ya allah, sabun lah. letak sabun!!

me: ouh ... cakaplah. tu psl kak confused. maner ade org cuci sayur pkai washing machine kan. slalunye pat sink per.

mama: dah tau pon. beh asl masih amek sayur?

me: eh, im an obedient kid per. mesti dgr kate mama. *and smiles like an idiot*

mama: astarghfirullah, i give up man. ni anakk.

me: asl? tapi kak baik kan?? dengar kate. :)

mama: ni bukan baik. ni slengerr.

me: beh mama pon slengerr pe. suro letak sayur dlm washing machine.

mama: dah jgn banyak ckp, gi letak sabun saner!!!

hahahaha.

and you people wonder why im like this.

;)

ps: you put me through so many emotions, now baby its your turn for that.

Nothing Else Matters.

2008-06-27T23:18:00.006+08:00

had the usual 'chilling out' session with the les partner after my last paper ended today. and i've got to say, my fridays are never a bore when im with that piece of nonsensical organism. HAHA. damn, i laughed like i've not laughed in ages just now, and reminiscing the past was just oh-so-freakingly-amusinggg! no seriouslyy, you should have seen us back there in the train. i could've sworn people were staring at us like one kind. not surprising though, considering we're the only ones contributing to the noise pollution. =p

like every other fridays, esplanade was the desired destination. headed to our usual spot by the river where we ate the burgers packed from our unfinished meals at macs. and yeahh, it was romantic! well, at least i thought it was. imagine this people; sitting by the river, hearing the swishing sound of calm water, with the wind blowing gently through your hair, eating a piece of yummylicious burger and staring in your partner's eyes .... ooyeahh, COOOOL EH?!?!! wahahahahahahahaha! wth rashilah. k stop it.

but really, maybe when i find myself a boyfriend i'll ask him to go there with me. and eat burgers together! LOL.

okay anw, we didn't stay for long cause there was this punk-rock band who appeared from god knows where and started playing loud music. and i mean like, really loud. it was just plain annoying la. we weren't impressed, so we left. then walked around marina square but couldn't figure out any interesting things to do. and again, we left.

blahblahblah, got down at yishun to buy ljs for the siblings. and tadaaa, HOME!

& gosh, now my tummy hurts from all that laughing. =))

ps: was it all a plan, or some passing chances?

Always You (Good Times).

2008-06-25T20:00:00.006+08:00

ehhhh.

i didn't complete maths paper just now. seriouslyy people, 1hr for maths is like asking to memorize the dictionary in 1 day. nonsense kan??

well whatever. its over now.

went back AI with myra and sindhu to collect our testimonials and certificates, and ooyeahh, found some really interesting comments written about me inside; which i must say, are not entirely true. hahaha. but thanks uh teachers, for making me sound like a good student. yay. =)) then chilled at np starbucks with the two babes & had a nice bonding time. and yeahh, we have to go shopping together ok?!?! (:

i left earlier to fetch tasha from school, after which we went NTUC to buy stuffs before going home. and now im feeling dead beat; with microA revision still to be done. oh wells, just have to bear with this a little longer before it's all over.

i can do this.
& ulcers not going awayyy. :(

ps: i'll give it up this time again, some things are better left unsaid.

Clear.

2008-06-24T12:46:00.009+08:00

hey hey hey

im like at home! ended around 10 just now so yeahh, headed home la. what else. & today's paper was like 10 times better than yesterday's. but having said that, i was so so so excited doing the last question, (beats me why too) i forgot to look at the numbers properly! hahah, like it was supposed to be +8 but i put +1, cause i forgot to times in the 8! so i think i messed up the whole equations. damnn kan. but wth, i love inorganic chemistryyyyy. ((:

bought nasi ayam penyet for me and my brother since we're like the only ones home. had just finished eaten mine, while he's not even up yet. hahah. and and and, im sicccckkkk. how amazing is that?

of all times, it had to be now. when tmr's maths paper. oooyeahh, bessst. i'll definitely pass with flying colours. NOT. ughh. the whole body's like weak. and i have a cut on my lip; god knows how it happened. so im pressing tissues against it to stop the bleeding. all this, to add to the freaking painful ulcers in my mouth.

irritating shit.

ps: why did i smile when it hurts inside, said i was okay when i knew it's a lie.

Take A Bow.

2008-06-20T21:51:00.009+08:00

wooyeahh i lovee todayyy!

had e6 gathering at seoul gardenn just now. saw affiq, adib, nasri, fitri, qi neng, june boon, melissa, li jing, jasmine, chi wei, lesley, yvonne, izzati, sindhu, xiu feng, ezra, ming quan, cheng ho & of couse myra-ses after like eons!!!! i laughed aLOTTT after so longg and i lovee seeing the change in people. like how affiq has grown hotter, (ooyeahh, really! hahaha) and adib's hair is now longerrr, and nasri looks like ... well, a nasri. HAHAH! everyone looks nice today. and the food was GREAT! i lovee mango ice-creammmm. =))

then after that, the rest headed to yishun safra to bowl. i was tempted to go, if not for moneyy constraint. haha. so me & myra went library instead, where she ATTEMPTED to do her assignments. but us being us, of course that did not happen. myra ended up chatting with random humans on msn, while i sat there beside her, with a book i picked up earlier; something about teen prostitution and stuffs. barely read a sentence when i slammed it shut and chuck that piece of creature one side.

went on to have a heart-to-heart talk with the les partner soon after that and realised that we've got something in common when it comes to certain things. like woah, we are so different yet sooo similar! COOOOL KAN. i know. :) headed to popular later to find my sis malay textbook, but it was out of stock. so yeahh, decided to go home then. cause i needed to pee! & its the third time in a few hours siaaa. wth. i think my bladder's getting weaker. lol.

and now im panickingg. school's startingg in 2 days and there's tons of things to be done!
damnnn la. i don't like school; really.

& i miss A.
hahahaha.

ps: but you put on quite a show, you really had me going.

Better In Time.

2008-06-20T13:06:00.006+08:00

back from the chalet, finally. ahaha.

i only stayed one night in the end. cause i got home-sick! and i was a deprived kid. AHAH. there's no link there i know. but i had a good time uh, not so the first day cause it was quite boringg. but second dayy was cooool! i practically spent my day in the pool. and now, im all tanned. damnn. ouh, and i swallowed a generous amount of chlorine water along the way too, a result of trying to teach myself to swim. how exhilarating. ^_^ but it was a failed attempt in the end though. i'd still drown if you throw me in the sea.

syimmy managed to follow in the end, after mama called and talk to her dad. haha! cutee kan. so i spent the two days with her! and she's a wayyy better swimmer than i am. at least she could swim, even if its just a short distance. me? the only thing i did successfully was choke myself and darkened my skin. oooyeahh. and mosquito lovess my blood! cause im the only one who got bitten. COOOOOL EH.

oh oh oh! and syimmy loves the pool so much she wanna sleep in there! hahaha. but then we got kicked out, cause it was late. and the guy riding the bicycle asked us to get out. i found it weird going round the pool on a bicycle. boleh jalan kan!

and i ate alottt there! yummylicious foood dok!
so now i feel fat. YAYNESSS!!! (=

ps: and even though i really love you, im gonna smile cause i deserve to.

Giggling Again For No Reason.

2008-06-18T02:34:00.005+08:00

its 2.34am.

& im still wide awakee. wth. i cant sleep. so im waiting for holland vs romania to start. and also france vs italy. oooyeahh.

i dont mind if italy or romania go through. but i dont really fancy france. HAHA. don't ask why please. idk. :))

and now the match is startingg. im gonna watch, and hope to get sleepy along the wayy. cause it's worrying actually. that i've been sleeping extraa late these dayss & getting high everytime the sun sets. oh sheesh ...

i hope im still sane.

ps: i can see the meltings of inhibition.

Super Human.

2008-06-16T11:26:00.006+08:00

oooyeahh. good morning earthlings!

hee. im up like superr early this morning i amazed myself. cooliosis. :)

so anw, attenteded band concert at ngee ann yesterdayy. & i swear i dont understand band music. hahaha. sorry faiezah, i don't think im an arts kind of person. but i still love you nonetheless. okayyy? and u looked nice with tie! lol. met up with myra syafs evia at np before that to catch kungfu panda, and yay! i was a happy, hyperr kid after that :D i think every living soul should not miss the movie. its AWESOMENEES. and you'll be at peace at the end of it. hahahaha!

then syimmy joined us later at the entrance of her school. went to watch the concert together, in which our group were making so much noise we actually drove some people away. (as in they never came back after the interval, and i'd like to think its because of the noise pollution we were creatingg) had some disapproving stares from people around, but what the heck, we were still making noise, shouting faiezah's name non-stop and doing random stuffs. so yeahhh. it was fun lah. =)

met up with faiezah after that, took some pictures (with fauzi, her band mate, whom we don't know existed till then but still pretended like we've been friends for years. ooyeahh!) headed back yishun, chilled at bk since yani wanted to grab a bite first. syafz treated me to hot fudge sundae and a kfc meal before the concert, and mee wantan at ah mei cafe last tuesday. so yeahh, thank u babe! hahah. i feel soo. BROKE sia. wth. i have to learn to save money from now on. go me! headed home after that, reached around 10pm, just in time for the rest to catch incredible tales while i gave it a miss as usual. =D

so yeahh.
i've no idea what to do todayy.

ps: my only weakness is you.

Take My Hand.

2008-06-14T21:54:00.007+08:00

eh. singapore lost 2-0!

doh. im not sure in what way that was surprising, but i was expecting well, at least a memorable if not a significant performance. yeahh. but .. ahah. kk. i won't say anything negative. good job to them. just try harder next time round. goooo singapore!! :)

hahaaha. i stayed home the whole dayy today and damnn, i was bored! not that i could go out even if i wanted to uh. cause, well, cause i just cant. oooyeahhh. how excitingg. =__= so decided to start on my reports, since i just realised i've got 4 to complete! imagine that, all this while, i was blissfully enjoying the holidayy mood, only to be awakened by the agonising truth of undone assignments! now, how's that for a wake-up call?

and did i mention, i was barely up till the introduction part of my report when i dozed off. on the ground. HAHAH. so much for being spirited. i can't even stay awake to save myself. so yeahhh, guess i'd better get going now if i still dream of completing all 4 before the end of the world. LOL.

tc humans of the world!

ps: the tears keep falling, i see your face and it keeps me going.

My Confession.

2008-06-12T13:35:00.005+08:00

oooh. im feeling oh-so-hungryyy right now. and there's nothingg to eat. =(

reason being, the spaghetti i made yesterday is finished! hahaha. coool rightt. everyone ate it n now there's nothing lefttt. heh. realised i've not lost my touch after all, after so long not cooking. so yay! im a hapeee kid! =D

ouh, & i was weirdly high last nightt. as in, reallyreallyreally H-I-G-H. i think i freaked my dear friends out. haha! but it was coool uh. i've never been that high before. usuallly its myra, im the "feminine & gentle" one. HAHAHAHAHA.

and i was saying stuffs that definitely wasn't me. like, "i wanna be in loveeeeee!!!! hahaha. u wanna be in loveee?? lets be in loveee together!!!!!" WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. wth rightt. now im freaking myself out. then i asked them to dance n laugh in the middle of the nightt. "mari berjoget semue!!" oooyeahhhh. i was laughing to myself the whole nightt! imagine that, everyone being asleep. there i was, lying on my bed, chatting with humans, and laughing out loud to myself! & like what syafz would say, "imagine the horror!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

btw, i loveee peanut buter on bread!! :)))

ps: now i feel myself surrender, each time i see your face.

When You Look Me In The Eyes.

2008-06-11T18:31:00.004+08:00

eh.

im super duper truperrrr boredddd!! damnnn.
and im not studying when im supposed to.

oooyeaahhh. go me!

k i seriouslyy wanna go out. but ferst i need moneyy.
*looks up to the sky & hoping it rains moneyy soon*

=DD

ps: everything's alright, when you're right here by my side.

Make It Mine.

2008-06-08T18:39:00.008+08:00

FULL-FILLED.

that pretty much sums up my whole week. interesting ain't it? so let's see...

mon-thurs were school days.

fri i don't have class, so it was a no-school day.

met up with faiezah to get the tickets for her band's upcoming concert, sms-ed syafz to come down join us. sat, talk and stuffs before heading my place where we just chilled till the sun set.

then yesterday & today are what im gonna call the "jemputans" days. cause yeahh, i dragged myself to attend two different functions. one was a "majlis doa selamat" for my little cousins who's just "sunat" haha, sorry i forgot the english word. =) and the other, which i just got back from, was a wedding ceremony of my distant cousin. (whom i don't even know)

so yeahh, witnessed a "kuda kepang" live for the first time in my nearly seventeen-years of living. and i've got to say, if you're someone with with a weak heart, (like me) better stay away from watching the real thing. its quite frightening, the whole thing. at first i just saw the guys moving around, doing some kind of dance moves uh. im nt sure. then all of a sudden, the beat of the music started to inrease and each of them picked up speed. you could see their faces turned somewhat scarier cause according to mama, they're being entered by spirits so they don't know what the hell they were doing. having realised what was happening, i took a few steps backwards to distant myself from the "show." but not before witnessing two of the guys going out of control. as in they were running towards the crowd (in which i was standing in) and their expressions were like .. intending to hurt people. i don't know. but fortunately, there were guards stationed at every conrner to ensure that those guys stayed within the territory. nevertheless, it still gave me quite a shock. the second guy was really near me when he was stopped by the guard.

then more weird things happened. like for instance, each of them started to chew off bits of glasses to eat. i was told that the spirits in their bodies were the ones controlling their movements, therefore they wont feel hurt when chewing and swallowing the glasses. however, one of the guys were unable to chew off the glass, and then he stared to get angry. shook his head vigorously at each failed attempt. so after many attempts, a man (who i should think was one of them) came forward and just gave him the whole chunk of glass. he held it with his teeth and went off, continuing with the weird dance moves. after the glass-chewing practice, came the drinking process. each of them went over to a guy holding a pail of water and took turns to drink from it. and the way they drank, it was literally like a horse. by inserting their faces inside and drinking straight from the pail. it was ... well. interesting to watch, though i made sure i was at a safe distance from the whole thing at all times. (:

when i finally told mama i was scared, (cause i was hiding behind her at one point. haha) my parents decided that i've seen enough. so we made a move and yeahh, i was glad we did. seeing people being controlled by spirits, moving around violently on a cardboard-kind of horse thingy, and not knowing what the hell they were doing chewing off glass pieces and such, is definitely not my idea of a wedding. nor is it entertaining like what some may consider it to be, including my mum! HAH. there i was, scared out of my wits, and she could still say she enjoyed watching it. & it was FUN!

speaking of weirdness. lol.

& thats it. my story ends here. im now home. safe & sound. =)

oooh yeahh. i love my life babyyy.

ps: i don't wanna wait no more. no, i wanna celebrate the whole world.

You'll Always Be My Baby.

2008-06-05T00:14:00.010+08:00

skipped microA lecture this morning. and i ended up going to school for just an hour. yeahhh. one pathetic hour. how amzinggg. with comm skills delayed by an hour, class was from 10-11 am. but i've to stay back for a while to observe the results of my microA experiment. and as expected, mine didn't quite turn out the way it was supposed to. hahaha. my agar plate showed different results from that of my classmates. plus the growth in my culture broths were not exactly accurate. as in they were not supposed to turn out like that. well, its kinda hard to explain. so for the benefit of you clueless people out there, here's what an agar plate usually looks like ;

so there. the above contain staphylococcus aureus of two different concentrations. (s.aureus is a type of bacteria) there are various kinds of agar plates, like the MacConkey and blood agar. so yeahh. i shall not go into details. cause i don't know much myself. (:

met up with myra after that. had lunch at macs, after which she headed to the library for some bonding time with her friends. hahaha, ok not really. she went for a project meeting while i headed home straight.

and yeahh, went out again with mummy and tasha & we caught THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA:PRINCE CASPIAN !!!

omgggg. its a must-watch movie of the month! reallyreallyreally .. i simply loveee SKANDAR KEYNES & BEN BARNES.

now tell me i've got good taste. go on .. ;)

did a bit of shopping after that. dinner-ed at lot1, walked around and then it was home. yeahhh. i love todayyy. i love mummyyy. & i love the GSS. cheap clothes, accessories, everythings. all i need now is moneyyy.

sooo .. anyone?? =)

ps: time can't erase a feeling this strong.

Fall For You.

2008-06-03T21:02:00.009+08:00

my brains in a a turmoil. as of currently, i feel lethargic. weak. helpless. and definitely not sane.
oh god.

i need a break please. or a pause, or interval, anythingg. oh u get the point. this whole thing is taking its toll on me, its causing a massive turbulence in my nervous system! damnnn. i don't like this feeling the least bit.

& u know, its never a pleasant feeling knowing you've hurt someone. but i guess some things just can't be avoided, no matter how hard you try. so all that's left to do is embrace those moments and take them as lessons learnt. it's hard yes, but not impossible.

for i'd rather hurt you now than later
cause then the scar will just get deeper
im sorry
but you'll get better in time
and so will i

ps: don't make me change my mind.

Biggest Lie.

2008-05-29T22:46:00.012+08:00

today's like every other thursday i've had so farrr. its the ALL-LECTURE DAYYY! hahaha. but due to a make up physical chem tutorial, had to turn up an hour earlier. and as always, im lateee. (= turned up at 12.25 when it started at 12. heh. bt i met shilka coming out of the mrt and yeahh, we walk together. usually, i'd rushed to class when im late, but this time, since i have a friend with me, we decided to take our own sweet time walking. hahaha. coool us.

then when we entered the classroom, mr saifudin(i think that's his name) suddenly said,

"ok that's all for today. you all can go."

at this time, the whole class went quiet. then shilka & i were like looking at each other. we've not even got ourselves seats! and just when i was starting to feel all guilty (my face was in a pure state of panic, i must've looked horrible), mr saifudin suddenly laughed quite abruptly. and more sound of laughter followed suit after that. turned out that he meant that as a joke. to scare us. wth righttt. & being the slow me that i am, i only realised that after eveyone stopped laughingg.

damnnn.

ouh, and i still don't understand physical chemmm. whatever. i've decided to let it go. i'll understand when i understand. and if i still don't ... well, there's no such thing. im bound to ... somedayyy. go me!

on the other hand, inorganic lecture was kinda interestingg. :) its about periodic table, only deeper than what was learned in secondary level. and i've gotta admit, i was a bit lost at some point. but with some help from the lecturer and him gee, (she's the friend who always has sweets & other kinds of food inside her bag. hahah. and she's superr cleverr too. which explains why i always ask her when im clueless) i managed to somehow make sense of the whole thing. like how chromium and copper are the only 2 elements in the periodic table which the Hund's rule is applied to. and the configuration of argon is actually 1s2 2s2 2p6 3s2 3p6 which = [ Ne ] 3s2 3p6. YEAHH i know. coool righttt.

=))

so besides that. maths and IMB lectures went on as per normal. MB0802 will be presenting tomorrow and frankly, im soooo glad my 01 was done last week. it was such a huge relief on my part, cause i don't like sitting in front of the whole lecture room just to see everyone staring straight back at me. i'd rather see my intestines live in action. ahahaha. i don't make sense yay.

&&& ... tomorrow's FRIDAYYY. yeahh babyyy. i loveee fridayyy. its the last day of the week, anddd .. its chilling out day! oh, i sooo wanna eat spaghetti! yayness.

btw, here's last week pictures of my dear les partnerrr, when we were lepak-ing. enjoy yawww. ;)

okayyy. i thought there were more pictures. but these are the only ones i could find. so yeahh. the one with my face in it, well, it didn't turn out quite rightt. hahah. i'll put it up next time.

ps: the writing's on the wall, but no one cares at all. to convey the message that we wrote ourselves.